Ah. The ghosts.

The office has emptied of solid comrades, matter melts & things can speak now...

And YES AND no...once again it is, it must only be, time 2:

Regroup. Rethink. Downsize.

The 2 words I remember during Bob repeating during Bob repeating during Bob's infamous "Shit-Sky Away-Day" was, were, lets get this straight -

Sober reassessment

And in no way is this a sign-off

Lend us something

SUNDAY NIGHT. LIVE RESULTS SERVICE...

LEEDS
SPOILT PAPERS - 680
NO2EU NO 2 DEMOCRACY - 682

The Final Push!
Tomorrow is D-Day!
Sit tight.
Do nothing.
Say nothing.
The hand wavers...mmm...
UKIP? BNP? NO2EU NO 2 DEMOCRACY?
Fingers crossed!
It's multiple choice!
We're bound to net some of them!
Fingers crossed!
1%
That's all we ask for!
Give us 1%!
And then we can get the fuck out of here!

'MARXISM' TODAY - THE FINAL SOLUTION #2

'MARXISM' TODAY - THE FINAL SOLUTION

A SONG FOR (NO2) EUROPE

Cuthbert Mingoulin presents a song to be sung by us on a battle bus

To the tune of Horst Wessel Lied

NOW-I-want-to-plough-yr-watermelon-skin
As Mar-tin Bor-mann's water-melon skin will make you all man again

Crush down your perversions and your lies
This time we march with national pride
Don't worry about Chinese fanny hair
Their EU membership is just a scare

NOW-I-want-to-plough-yr-watermelon-skin
As Mar-tin Bor-mann's water-melon skin will make you all man again

Sing along with the progressive boys
Listen to our nationalist noise!
English foreskin don't fail us now
We don't want to milk no Macedonian cow

NOW-I-want-to-plough-yr-watermelon-skin
As Mar-tin Bor-mann's water-melon skin will make you all man again

Those ladyboys are full of pluck
Put Peter Taaffe down for a suck
But instead of bleeding slanty eyes
He'd rather slobber on English thighs!

NOW-I-want-to-plough-yr-watermelon-skin
As Mar-tin Bor-mann's water-melon skin will make you all man again

ALL TOGETHER - LET'S FUCKIN' 'AVE IT!

Hi! I'm Jessica Bond! I'm the new NO2EU NO 2 DEMOCRACY CAMPAIGN COMMUNICATIONS MANAGER! That's me, with Dear Bob Tit going through our early morning calisthenics, my breasts healing his smashed egg-cranium. I'm a trained pop-vid-dancer and although Bob is in a deep deep deep coma, movement is vital fruit juice for the brain muscle (with slices of banana, currants, prunes, alfalfa grass, Roger Casement, all that stuff)!
Anyway, it was during one of our work-outs that Bob spoke to me and nobody else. I won't repeat the first thing he said (and said he could do and tried his hardest to do but couldn't), but the second was his appointment of me as his P.A and CCM - a dual role I am taking v v seriously - I am a Member of the Order of Women Freemasons. We're open. We don't use condoms. All in or nothing. We are Sisters not Virgins! All Virgins most Welcome! Virgin Workshops. Mr Doors. Mrs Doors. Different doors. Diana Dors. The same entrance. Only at different times. Ann Summers. Avon Ladies. Tupperware. Jung's Mandalas. Slits through sheets. Portsmouth army boys in bhurkas. I could go on...
You may remember me from Bob's wonderful election broadcast specials. Bob and I met on set. Back then Bob was a force of nature - he rode tidal bores of ullage...But unfortunately Bob took up with another (awful) dancer in the video, fake Indian Shemale, Suki Singh (no longer a Member). It was clear Bob was confused, he took to calling everyone 'Anita Lolly' - so I joined our most bitter rivals, NO2EU YES TO DEMOCRACY instead. I wrote a letter to the Morining Star, which the fools published without realising it was a spoof and I was just trying to make My Bob Tit jealous!
I've spoken to Bob about it, he understands. It needed to happen, someone had to really rock Bob Tits way 2 tiny democratic gravy-boat! The movement needed to get bigger and bigger and bigger - Bob soon realised only I could make that happen.
Well, my wank worked and here I am! Where I belong, astride Bob as we get physical, exchange love-gifts in, between and beyond boundaries, CLR James, Olivia Neutron Bomb, Tommy Shh (Bobs new butler, I appointed - we only talk at night, we're professionals), every last drop of pop Jah-Jah-Just Imagine-Jism! Yes I do wear blonde dreadlocks! But no no no, that is not a black and white issue! (My favourite poo-poo book is i-roy bhaskar's - DIALECTIC: The Pulse of Freedom. I hate TINA. Poor i-roy. Time to move on out and down. Every morning. A pulse + prunes)
Close readers of our site will have noticed that since I became The CCM only 2 posts have been put up, both basically the same apart from a picture of big ears. We've had some complaints (although there have been many more anonymous and silent congratulations from comrades delighted that nothing at all appeared to be happening) so some of Bob's (and mine) inferiors have asked me to explain, which I'm happy reluctantly to do.
As I mentioned, I've been a pop-vid dancer, but also I've worked in advertising dancing in adverts. Like the great avant-garde art theorist Jack Conrad acknowledged in an astonishing ground-breaking letter this week, the point of which is just like what I'm doing here, explaining away a shit front cover, by name-checking John Heartfield, Duchamp, Rolf Harris etc - "a single picture really can be worth a thousand words."
You see (you fucking idiots), the whole point of my 'Lend us your Ears' was to create an air of mystery. Poise. What would happen next? Nothing? Like Duchamp showed (Marcel Duchamp {20th C}. An expert chess player who despite being a DaDaDaDa'ist used conventional black and white pieces. He dressed as a woman, but interestingly, I'm not sure how often) - was this a piss-pot or a piss-pot? Who knows, who will lend us a vote? And for godsake who would have known unless the faceless morons behind this campaign hadn't demanded an explanation and spoiled it all. What exactly is a 'sub 0.15% vote' they're banging on about? What I've been bought in2 do, what I know about is...What traumatically temporarily oscillates somewhere roughly between the heart and the mind and the spirit, pi and the bog brush. I am Paul McKenna. You are a window cleaner; is tick the boxes.
I say I say I say, it's typical of the British Left - No Imagination!
But fear not (I know you're not, that was just rhetorical - Get over it!) I, Jessica Bond have been in serious discussions with the aforementioned Conrad over a roast bird and MFP Classicalist Music Long-Players in Hampstead this very afternoon. The mine. the man is a art-aestheic-guru, he livers and breathes mind-ideas, he chops words, stirs bisto, onions opinions & like Coleridge his table talk ranges wildly by by-ways of cow methane and the lost social orals of beef curtains.
In that short but very important basted time, I got 2 know him v v well, 1 minute he's there, the next minute he's still there. He ejaculated, that, all because of little me, he was going to miss some sort of meeting for the first time since he took-over, in a swift bloody intellectual coup, Ireland in the 80's. He feared his, what he called his 'Never-Never Party' would collapse without him. But just this once, he said, fuck it -
"Lenin always fell for the Prompt, snugly hidden in the pit. He liked them with just the 1 baby leg, waggling. But I am Peter Pan."
We can stay where we are or...
Have the wheels stopped or started on the gravy-train?
Who knows? There's no quick fixes. History sleeps. Pigs sneeze. You are dual-dependent.
Love ya
Jessica (ca-ca-ca) Bond

LEND US YOUR EARS

MAKE THEM STOP CHANNELING!

LEND US YOUR EARS

MAKE THEM STOP CHANNELING!

Bob Tits Speaks!
Tit came too to speak at 6,30. It lastly for only 19.45 seconds. He came straight to the point. before slipping sliding back into a coma:
"Those fools at No 2EU Yes to Democracy say - 'Lend us your vote'. No-one understands what the hell they're talking about. Lend me your vote! What the fuck does that mean? When are they ever going to give it back? Never, that's when! Lend me your ears big ears, maybe. No No No, they don't know the British people like Bob Tit does...anyone got a pen? Take this fucker down."
NO2EU NO 2 DEMOCRACY Says:
On June 6th 1945 at 6.30, We want each and every one of you proud British serfs to lend Bob Tit a Tenner!

CAMPAIGN COMMANDER ANSWERS

Hi there!

My name's Cuthbert Mingoulin. I have been appointed as pubic relations officer of No2EU No2 Democracy. In the coarse of the next few weeks I will be answering questioning letters sent in by our supporters. We cannot have any uncertainty here. It's time for some DISCIPLINE in the national front.

Query from Perry Striker, Communist Party of Britain (66 years)

'I am a big fan of Anus Nin's A pie in the house of love; it's the best book ever. Recently, I was reading it on a bus prior to a visit to my local brothel. When I entered the whorehouse imagine my surprise when I saw a cheese-and-onion pasty on the vestibule table. The worse thing were the eyes staring at me; I couldn't get them out of my head and it was enough to make me ejaculate prematurely. I want to ask: can all this be traced back to the Lisbon Treaty and Brussels?'

Mingoulin answers: Dear Perry, I think you will find that almost everything can be traced back to the Lisbon Treaty. At least you managed to shoot your bolt, darling. My solution would have been to eat the pie.

Hi I'm Vivian Bolus! Who am I...
Some 48 hours ago I asked a question of John Rees and Lyndsey Belgium. Where were you when Bob Tit's head was caved in?
There has been a response. A little elliptical, but a response.
It arrived today in the form of a half-chewed memory stick, containing a Word document and a video file. All the doc contained was the following words & the vid you can see below.
At the moment I am undecided, I'm not sure what all this means. The jury's still out. You decide!

CHORUS
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it


Josef Stalin...

Bob Tit Speaks!

Out of Nowhere Bob rallied briefly early this evening before tumbling tumbling back into a coma to give the Official NO2EU No 2 Democracy statement on the rabid spread of Swine Flu:

"Nuke Mexico. Close down Paignton. Don't buy a pig in a poke.

Whatever Facebook is just forget it! Get Facemasks!

Stop faceless EU bureaucrats banning Pork Scratchings!

Ban Saurkraut...Frogs legs...Spaghetti...They started it!

Eat heartily of the Great British Turkey Twizzler for its past is unblemished!

Don't Panic. We're all Doomed!

Trotters...Trotters...Trotter Soup Now!...Trots-Trotting...Find those Fucking Bastard Trots Now................................

Can someone phone Ho Lee Fuks & order this lot cos all they serve is foreign muck in here, I'm starving!
Roast Pork with Cashew Nuts
£4.70
Roast Pork with Mushrooms
£4.40
Roast Pork with Straw Mushrooms
£4.40
Roast Pork with Mixed Vegetables
£4.40
Roast Pork with Bamboo Shoots and Waterchestnuts
£4.40
Roast Pork with Green Pepper in Black Bean Sauce
£4.40
Roast Pork with Babycorn
£4.40
Roast Pork in Oyster Sauce
£4.40
Roast Pork with Pineapple
£4.40
Roast Pork with Beansprouts
£4.40
Roast Pork with Broccoli & Oyster Sauce
£4.50
Roast Pork with Black Pepper Sauce
£4.50
Roast Pork with Chinese Mashrooms "

SCANDAL OF THE STAR

Today's Morning Star has a letter from one of our supporters, Jessica Bond, reproduced below. This is an outrage!

Jessy was writing on behalf of No2EU No 2 Democracy and because she put No2EU on it, the editorial team assumed that it was in support of No2EU Yes to Democracy.

We demand an inquiry at the Star over this CRIMINAL CONFUSION over names.

It is even more of an insult that a letter from Andrew Northall has stolen some of Jessy's points in support of THERE campaign.

Rush your letters of protest into the Star because No really means No (to Democracy) not Yes!


'I HAVE been very encouraged by what I have read in the Star about the No2EU election slate.
It is good that the left is coming together with the trade unions to finally stand up to the Gordon Brown version of new Labour. I will certainly be voting for it. I only have one minor criticism. How is it being promoted?
There are many different ideas that can be drawn from Barack Obama's massive victory, particularly in terms of using the internet.
And what about street parades, social events etc where money can be raised and the message got out? I don't think we can rely on leaflets and canvassing any more.
Let's get a big vote in June!
JESSICA BOND London N12'

Hi I'm Vivian Bolus! Who am I...
I'm on the search for the person or persons who put the great Bob Tit in a coma from which he shows little sign of coming out of. 2 days ago I gave Mark Fisherfinger (pictured above outside Parliament on the non-parliamentary road. With Anne & TINA) of the CPGB (On the Never-Never) 24 hours to explain where he was when Bot Tit was attacked. Apart from some of Lenin's incoherent philosophical ramblings, answer there has been none.
So clearly, Mark Fishfinger did it, but not on his own, oh no, Fishfinger was just part of an ugly posse. Although Fishfinger cannot drive, we believe he was the get-away man! Like Henri Paul, he stinks of alcohol and swerves all over the place like Barry John or Barry George.
The search continues then! It has a momentum of it's own. Anita Halpin is the chief suspect yes, but where were John Rees and Lyndsey Belgium on that dread night? Comrade's stop stopping The War for a moment. You have 24 hours to answer for yourselves!

I'm Vivian Bolus! Who am I? I’m a dying breed, I’m afraid… basically I’m a Marxist tequila-slurping, drug-ingesting, fucking angry, gonzoid-monkey, Investigative Reporter.
NO2EU NO 2 DEMOCRACY have asked me to head up the Workers Investigation into the Assassination attempt on Bob Tit. Bob is still in a coma:

Everything about this Investigation will take place out in the open, in the full public gaze. No stone will be left unturned. Anita Halpin is the Chief Suspect. But there are Others. Close readers of this blog will have noticed this comment posted after we revealed there had been an attempt on Bob Tit's life:
"This is an outrage!
Bob was a renegade, but nevertheless this is a Whodunnit for the whole British Left!
This is on a par with Ian Donavan being clobbered by the Sparts!
We need a full Workers Investigative Team!
Fully Democratic!
And on instant recall!
I suggest me, John, Ben, Anne, Tina and A.N Other
Let's get to the bottom of this and fat!
Mark F
p.s Oh & + Marcus, because he can can do the International thing via Australia blah-de-blah..."
Vivian Bolus can reveal the truth! Mark F is in fact MARK FISHFINGER of the dubiously entitled CPGB (Provisional). He is their National Organisor - a bit like the Personal Organisor you've got somewhere on your mobile, but can never be bothered to use or even to find.
Mark Fishfinger was the first to suggest a Workers Investigation. And as such is a suspect. Within the British Labour Movement there is a proud tradition...Like farts, for Us the same applies - 'Whoever smelt it, dealt it!'
So, Vivian Bolus wants to know - Where was Mark Fishfinger when Bob Tit was being violently attacked? Mark Fishfinger - You Have 24 hours to answer for yourself. Your silence will only speak volumes Comrade - And how many volumes are there Comrade Fishfinger in Lenin's Collected Works? 40?

TITS FOR A TIT!

From our news team: 'Anita Halpin, chair of the Communist Party of Britain, has really got into the 'swing' of the No2EU No2 Democracy campaign.

'Multi-millionaire and friend of all Morning Star journalists Anita (pictured centre) decided to strip off outside Croydon town hall after Bob Tit found that a large donation from Anita and her geriatric husband Kevin contained a large amount of EUROS.

'The shock was enough to bring Tit out in a nasty rash. So Anita, accompanied by Mary Davis and Kate Hudson, decided to strip off and invite British donations of OUR currency from passers-by.'

'The £0.47 collected has been passed on to Tit.'

'Anita Halpin said: "We only wanted to be loved".'

Bob Tit is still alive...
But only just. He's in intensive care, surrounded by wires, wandering in and out of consciousness, he's scrambled...
Then suddenly like a New Man, 10 minutes ago he came 2...And out of nowhere, Bob Tit delivered the NO2EU NO 2 DEMOCRACY St George's Day address, a minute after mid-night, a just not-in-time delivery!
And then slipped back into a coma...

It's True!
There has been an attempt to Assassinate Bob Tit!
He was on the run over allegations that he had stolen Anita Halpin's millions...
We don't know whether he's dead or alive!
Who committed this atrocity!
Who will solve this terrible crime!

BREAKING NEWS!
We are getting in unconfirmed reports that our leader Bob Tit has been involved in some kind of serious accident! Details are grainy, but there is a suggestion that there has been an attempt on Bob Tit's life!
Please await further updates...

OPEN LETTER TO THE BRITISH LABOUR MOVEMENT

FROM: BOB TIT

HELP!

Please Help!
All property is theft!
Kill the Rich!
Let’s not change bosses, let’s change life!
Was all that money really, strictly all Anita's?
I don't think so!
It belonged to us all!
I took it!
It belongs to us all!
And now the Wicked Witch of the West has unleashed the Dogs of Wart!
On Bob Tit!
I'm all alone!
I spent it all!
I'm fucked!
I'm on the run!
Come and get me...someone find me please!..I'm close by...I can't survive for much longer out here on my own...A man with blue eyes, whistling, with a skewed accent just walked by...
I'm hiding out in the fruit & veg!
Buy me!
Please O please fuck don't let him buy me!
I'm a Rogue Tit!
I'm growing a baby's foot!
I'm out here all alone!

OUR INDUSTRY, OUR JOBS, OUR ... LUVVERLY LADYBOY DI!

A MESSAGE FROM BRIAN 'IS THAT A SPITFIRE?' DENNY, LEADER OF NO2EU NO2 DEMOCRACY FUNDRAISING COMMITTEE

I recall when I were a little town in North Carolina, I tried to escape this music. I said it was for the old country folks. I was cool but I had no groove (play with it baby!). Now you are ready. WE NEED your money to fund this campaign. Think of de Second World of War when all dem pots and pans made Hawker Hurricanes. Now, rolling into more nationalised icons - Ladyboy Di!

How many of us didn't dream of her nationalised cock up our arses like with Prince Phillip? I know I (we) did.

Now for our fund, Communist Party (of Britain) members have gone around the world collecting fragments of landmines (de ladyboy lover dem landmines). On these, Rob Griffiths has drawn crude approximations of Ladyboy Di's inflated cockhead. Buy these national gender-bending trinkets and catapault our campaign.

I'm not the same as when I began...

OPEN LETTER TO EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING:

FROM BOB TIT:

I love you all!

I love each and every one of you! Like William Blake seeing an angel in a tree at Peckham, last night I had a vision at Dalston Junction. How I got there god only knows, but I ended up off my Tits in a rave. I met some beautiful people. And these people were not all from Britain. Far from it, one of them told me she was from Uranus!
The scales have fallen from my eyes. Space is the place. I have a vision of the entire cosmos living in perfect harmony. Ground control to Major Tom - Tom man chill out! There's no need to pull rank on me baby, everything's groovy!
Through love! Through total sexual abandon!
Come with me Brothers and Sisters and Others! Now is not the time for imaginary divides, false boundaries, passports or underpants. Our tribe may be small, but we are beautiful and we are naked!
Please watch my beautiful new video. It is beautiful. Bob Tit is beautiful! You can be too! Join me! Suck me off!
p.s I knicked all of Anita Halpin's dosh!

OPEN LETTER 2 THE BRITISH LABOUR MOVEMENT:

June 6th 1945 6:30

FROM BOB TIT:

Fuck 'em!

Last night I sped I speeded off my Tit to a hastily arranged NO2EU NO 2 DEMOCRACY rally in the Rochester Castle, Stoke Newington, where of course I was the main speaker.
Arriving in the nick of time, I met Peter Taafe and Anita Halpin on the threshold, in a follow-me-leader tizz as usual. I began to outline a change of tack, a new direction, fresh ideas, a new radical agenda imported from Continental Europe I was about to unhash on our motley crew of supporters.
Taafe's response was:
"Yr babbling Bob"
I responded by demanding he lend me a fiver, that I was brassic and telling him I'd shine his head for a tanner.
Anita cut in, asking if I actually knew anything about how an auction for a beautiful painting in Sotheby's was conducted?
I retorted by demanding she give me £5000 in used notes in a brown paper bag, as she was stinking rich...she declined...
I sacked them both on the spot and charged into the crowded bar - the glistening faces beaded with alcohol juice swaying my suspirating angels they needed me and I need them...
I mounted the bar and began:
Cormrades! Now is the time for questions and after that answers...
Can anyone tell me exactly what the NO2EU - YES 2 DEMOCRACY slogan '...it's a black and white issue', means exactly?
But first of all, who came up with that slogan in the first place? That's right...ME, Bob Tit.
Like my argument years back in Warts mob, the SLP, that you can't play for 2 football teams at once as a way of excluding any bastard we didn't like, '...it's a black and white issue', ostensibly makes no fuckin' sense, but is just an authoritarian whack round the earholes and let me tell you I'm proud of that!
Except...and that's a big except - you may have heard about my recent trip to Gay Paree on a freak tidal bore of ullage...are you trot bastards laughing at the back...well that got me thinking that did...
Maybe it does mean something...I mean by any stretch of the imagination, the European Union could never politically be described as a black and white issue, could it?
Think about it, it's the worst, least appropriate political slogan ever, makes you think of Enoch Powell and rivers of blood.
At best, you think 2 Tone music, which whilst it utilised a '2' instead of a 'to', brings to mind Nelson Mandela and 'Too Much Too Young' and what the fucking hell has that got to do with Europe!
So as I said, I'm bobbing along on me bore of ullage and suddenly it comes to me like a revelation - 'Think of your hard-core vote Bob Tit, never forget your hard-core vote.'
And with that I'm away and I'm researching...
Comrades! Forget Susan Boyle! I showered her with kisses and she threw them back in Bob Tit's face. She is a devil and to be avoided, her applications been voided.
No comrades, let us put away childish things and take out our dildo's and vibrators!
(A commotion begins...fights break out...above the din a voice rings out true!)
We're in a pub, so which one of you po-faced bastards wants a pub quiz? Anyone? Well yr going to fucking well get one!
Who wrote the Wretched of the Earth? Anyone? Franz fucking Fanon! Yr thick as shit the lot of you...
Who wrote The Blacks? Any takers? Jean Genet...
Have any of you dried up prunes heard of George Bataille? Jacques Lacan? The story of O? Celine? 120 Days of Sodom?
Hard core voters...Hard Core Voters...HARD CORE VOTERS...It's a black and white issue! Inter-racial cumshots! Let them rain down and purify!
The Issues are clear! The Issues are never single!
Lights! Action!
(Bob plugs in his powerpoint and presents the new NO2EU NO 2 DEMOCRACY Election broadcast amid scenes unparalleled amongst the British Left...)

News! V Big News!
Bob Tit is Back!
Bob Tit returned to the beloved Isle of his birth sometime in the last 48 hours after being borne out to sea on a freak bore of ullage. Indomitable as ever, full of surprises and amongst the up-most secrecy, Bob went straight into the studio at the bottom of Ken Loach's garden with Britain's Got Talent hot favourite Susan Boyle!
Bob says: "When I was away, so far gone in Gay Paree, I read Michel Pablo and became v interested in tailism, entryism, fetishism, whips & collars etc, I think. And Britain's Got Talent was a constant inspiration to me! A reminder of my more innocent homeland - repressed, stultifying, mediocre, sentimental, nationalistic twaddle...and especially Susan Boyle.
I contacted Susan as soon as I got back. I knew she was the one and sure enough she is not without a modicum of sympathy for the devil the broad outline of NO2EU - NO 2 DEMOCRACY. Susan told me - "Did you sae you'll give me a pony for doing it? Well, we've got enough of them already up here in West Lothian...This is a nae bonny telephonic reception...Have I ever done what with a pony?!! No sir, that is not the dream I dreamt!!!"
Ladies & Gentlemen, We Give You -
Bob Tit & Susan Boyle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Search for Bob Tit Continues!
#2 - This one arrived on an old fashioned 'floppy disk', secreted inside a ruckled paperback edition of Simone De Beauvoir's 'The Second Sex'.
Bob Tit in Gay Paree!
Springtime 2009?
A red feather oral insertion?
We don't think so!

There have been sightings of Bob!
They're flooding in.
But like poor baby Madeleine how can we be sure they are the real Bob Tit?
Unlike J. V Stalin's scientifically proven work 'Marxism and the National Question', there's no way of verifying the data.
Even if it is Bob, someone may have tampered with his mind, he may never be the same again, he may in fact become a totally different person!
Enough of these dystopian, crudely anti-doctrinal ruminations...
You decide - Bob Tit or not Bot Tit, that is the question!
#1 - This arrived at the NO2EU - NO 2 DEMOCRACY HQ this morning on a memory stick, signed - Royston Bull:

SOCIAL DUMPING: IT'S A BLACK AND WHITE ISSUE...

Or at least it is with John 'strikebreaker' Haylett's Black and White Minstrels!

Follow John and the Morning Star boys through Croydon town centre on June 6th 1945 6:30 as the No2EU No2Democracy election gravy boat picks up speed. Cha cha cha!

OPEN LETTER TO THE BRITISH LABOUR MOVEMENT:

June 6th 1945 6:30

Has Anyone Seen Bob Tit?

After a wonderfully successful NO2EU - NO 2 DEMOCRACY Rally in The Old Maypole pub, Hainault on Monday night, Bob Tit went missing! Where is he? As the comments section below amply testifies, there were frantic attempts made to save Bob.

Unlikely as it may sound to the non-revolutionary lay-man, it appears Bob was swept away on a freak bore of ullage, ending up we know not how, in the Thames and then possibly onwards, onwards, bobbing out to sea...

We are in unknown waters here. Time is something we have very little of. No time for reflection or even to bother with elections! Action stations! All hands on deck!

Think John Stonehouse. Ophelia. The Owl and the Pussycat. Arthur Cravan. Reginal Perrin. Red Shelley. John Taylor the Water Poet, who in 1618 journeyed along the Thames to the Isle of Sheppey in a paper boat with 2 stockfish tied to canes for oars, for a bet.

Launch the flotillas, the catamarans, the coracles!

Bob Tit is out there somewhere!

This is the last photo of Bob after the rally on Monday. Typical Bob, telling another of his 'Red' jokes! Always the same punch line - 'Spreken de Deutsch Fraulein? Just speak into this! You hum it, I''ll play it!' And the whole pub sings the Dambusters theme - Dah da-da dah-da-da-da-da... What a card - a big, Bob, block bloke!

PLEASE COMRADES! FIND BOB TIT! DEAD OR ALIVE!

NO2EU NO2DEMOCRACY presents:
A NATIONAL FRONT DISCO!
June 6th 1945 @ 6.30pm,
St John's Wood Road Baptist Church,
In aid of Bob Tit's electoral funds

Tombola
Raffle
Jumble
Socialist Party paper sale
No foreign muck

BACK BY SPECIAL DEMAND:
KEVIN HALPIN'S BREAKDANCE POSSE
(pictured above - millions couldn't hold him back!)

Dance to the No-nonsense rhythms of
Bob Tit's Gravy Train!

Chugga-Chugga-Chugga!

Everybody in the house say SCONE!